“Where do you see things in 5 years?” my husband asks, as we lounge on the sofa. It’s a question I’ve never handled well and I don’t think I’ve ever had an answer for really.
New year resolutions, long term goals….they feel like a set up for failure. The odds of me pressing against all the distractions, complications, doubts, fears, circumstances and so on that would stand between me and accomplishing said goal feel pretty slim to none. There are the invisible goals, of course, that loom before us in the form of expectations. Plenty of times hidden in plain sight until they are discovered broken and unmet.
Married by age A…..kids by age B….living C lifestyle….the list goes on easily.
I also realized, as I processed his innocent inquiry, that I don’t like naming how I want things to look better in the future because it means admitting that I might not like the way they are now. And I don’t want to sound ungrateful for ‘now’ or that ‘now’ is not good enough and risking hurting or offending anyone. Especially my husband. But when confronted with the mirror I have to discover that now will turn into the future and the things I dislike, or that need improvement, will never change if I don’t say that they need to change.
A broken lamp will never be replaced if you don’t admit there’s a broken lamp, get rid of it and buy a new one. It will otherwise sit there and frustrate you every time you reach to turn it on. Which you will, because it’s still sitting there, right?
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Proverbs 19:21
I find myself struck with the reality that this passage is not telling me not to plan, not to dream or imagine. It simply puts in perspective that although man has many plans and ideas, only the purpose of the Lord will take root and thrive. God expects me to make plans. And He anticipates many of those plans will fail. It won’t be a surprise or disappointment to Him.
It is the glory of God to hide something and the glory of kings to discover something.
Proverbs 25:2
We cannot discover what we are unwilling to seek.
What’s holding you back from seeking? From dreaming?
Hope is risky. I get it. Hope means opening yourself up to getting hurt again, allowing loss to be a greater possibility once more. I lived too many years in survival mode, unwilling to make big plans or to dream with God because it felt pointless. Too many years wary of seeking Him with both hands wide open because I decided I could protect myself better than He could.
After all, if I didn’t dream I couldn’t be disappointed, right? If I didn’t have great expectations of life or relationships, I couldn’t get hurt, right? Wrong. So very wrong.
There comes a point that our hesitancy, our distaste for risk, or our comfort in hurt, needs to be left behind. So that we can seek again. The year of 2023 is here, so what would you like to do with it? Who would you like to be in it? If both your hands are full carrying the weight of loss and what has already been, you cannot grasp hold of anything new. You’re stuck. Stuck carrying something that isn’t yours to carry any more.
Are you ready to let Father God be the one to protect you?
It’s time for survival mode to end. It’s time to walk forward and start dreaming again. The last few years have been riddled with drama, complications, sorrows, fears and losses. Hope doesn’t minimize that. Dreaming doesn’t minimize the loss. But it can overshadow fear. It can help you breathe. Because it’s true, life will never again be what it was. We can’t go back.
You can’t go back to the day before the pandemic, to the day before that loved one died or you lost your home & job. You can’t go back to before that trauma that scarred your mind. You can’t go back to before that diagnosis. You can’t go back to days without political and racial upheaval. You can’t go back to who you were before the bottom fell out.
And He isn’t asking you to.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust Him. That simple and that hard.
Make the one month plan. The six month plan. Make the five year plan. And don’t be afraid of the fact that you might fail. Because life is going to continue to happen, continue to evolve. Six months in, circumstances might change and your five year plan will change too. Because, hopefully, you won’t be the same person five years from now.
When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.
Proverbs 3:24-26
We can’t go back. But heaven help us we can move forward.
Father God, too many of us have been living in survival mode. We have been filling the cracks all the while waiting expectantly for the next show to drop. It has left a disastrous hole in our hearts where we cannot dream. It has riddled our bodies with illness, exhaustion, and pain. Fill us with Your hope today, the hope that passes all understanding. Fill us so that we can pour out. Fill us so that we can run the race set before us and not stand in the middle wondering what’s the point. O Lord, we need to see our days as safe in Your sovereignty. Help our unbelief. Help our weary hearts. We seek You, Father God. Before all the rest, we seek You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Need some worship to wrestle things out? Check out the Youtube playlist 'Dream Big'.
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